As we were
leaving church the other day a couple stopped us who I don't remember speaking
to before and shook Derek's hand. He had just given a talk and they wanted to
know how we met. They said "now you're from England right?" to which
i replied "yes" and then they said the phrase I have heard so many
times "Where's your accent?"
What am I
supposed to say to that? "oh here it is." I honestly believe there
isn't a more awkward way to put someone on the spot than to essentially
challenge them to show their accent. "Talk a bit", "Well you
don't sound like you're from England". "Oh you've been here a long
time, you've lost your accent."
How does it
not cross people's minds that that is just plain rude. I have had enough of the
smiling and brushing it off and saying "oh, well i have been here a while
but I'm not from London which is the accent people are used to, I'm from the
north of England..."
Thats when
they cut me off and say "Oh there it is!" Well done, you 'found' my
accent. Or maybe if you had just let me speak before deciding that I don't have
one then I wouldn't dislike you right now.
Strong
words, I know. And anyone reading this that met me this exact way (probably
about 80% of you) I do not remember (maybe i choose not to or something) and
have definitely forgiven you.
Yes, I have
lived in America for almost four years. I don't expect to live here and not
have things rub off on me. However, most of the changes in my accent are
actually because I failed to be understood the first few days i was here. I
came thinking "i'm going to teach everyone my way of speaking and they
will all speak that way and use my slang and I won't have to change a
thing!" Then I soon realized that that was almost impossible. Not only
that but it was humiliating when I cracked a joke or made a comment that no one
responded to. They didn't understand the reference or the slang or the phrase I
used. And we thought we spoke the same language!
So over the
years I have settled into the way i speak, i think it would be safe to say that
my accent gets stronger the more i know someone. Someone pointed out to me that
I tend to hide it when I first meet people. I do this completely
subconsciously. I thought about it and realized that in the split second before
i speak i sift through all the words in my mind and pick out the ones that show
my accent the least. You might ask "why would you want to hide it?" Basically
its just more convenient. If I'm walking through the line at Walmart, the
cashier does not need to know where I am from. Not only will it take up time
and hold up the line but I will also probably never see them again and there's
no need to draw attention. So i say very little and choose words that don't
give me away.
My husband
is completely oblivious of all of this, which I am very grateful for. It would
be very annoying if I had a running commentary on the way my accent was
changing around different people. He's very nice in supporting me and has never
made fun of it or actually cared. He sticks up for me and explains when people
accuse me of not having an accent anymore.
When we go
out to eat we always ask for water. I NEVER say it. Water is one word that
screams british. When i have said it the look on the waiters face is as if i
just asked for a glass of soy sauce. I see the cogs turning and the channels
changing in his brain and then he asks "sorry what did you
say?"
So as not to
waste everyones time, Derek orders "water please" and I just say
"i'll have the same". So much simpler. He never knew I waited for him
to order first until a few months ago. Other than that one, I don't plan the
changes.
And then I
get it from the opposite side when I go home. Thank goodness my family are so
understanding, they never do the annoying "you sound so american!"
that I always did when someone came back from time in the states. I'm a
hypocrite. And I'm not going to deny that I sound different, its not like I get
angry if anyone brings it up. But it wouldn't hurt to show a little bit of
understanding and less making me feel like I no longer belong ANYWHERE.
I am very
grateful for my country and my accent. Many people know that there are
literally hundreds of accents in England alone. Britain is not made up of just
the royal family, cockney, scottish and Irish. The part of the country that I
am from has a typical northern accent but its sort of in the middle of a few
different cities so it doesn't really have a name and sounds different even
amongst the people living in my small town.
Americans
have told me that people from England are seen as more intelligent or upper
class in some way. That is hilarious to us. I feel common common common. But
there are always opportunities to milk it for all its worth. I find it really
awkward but whatever works i suppose.
I was
recently cast in a Shakespeare with tons of different dialects. I was hoping
for one but I was asked to use my own. I grew to love it and really enjoyed
being me for a change rather than faking an american accent or something
different. I frequently got asked about my dialect by members of the audience.
They would say "how long did it take you to get the dialect down?" or
"yours is probably the best". My favorite was when one of the cast
members came to me to tell me that his brother thought I had the best dialect.
He asked him where he thought I was from and he said "Norway! She was
really good!"
So in conclusion, my 18 years in England and 4 years here have
resulted in me sounded Norwegian. ...Interesting. But I'm ok with it.
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