Here's the story...

Rewind back to my last semester at BYU. I took on a LOT, maybe too much, for my senior year. I was in 4 shows and number 3 had only just closed. I was nearing the end of my college life and had a few days left of classes to go and some exams. I woke up one wednesday morning feeling tired which I was used to at this point. The feeling was the same feeling you get when your eyelids just want to close- you feel dizzy. By lunch time i am usually quite alert but the dizzyness hadn't gone at all. By the evening I felt drunk (or what i imagine it to feel like). It was really quite funny. I even started surring some of my words! My friends and I had a good laugh and i went to bed early so i could get a full 10 hours sleep. Next day it wasn't any better. Someone suggested it come be allergies so I took some claritin and no difference and again I was finding some words a little difficult to say. Friday rolled around and I had my ballet final. Thankfully my teacher knew about my dizzyness so wasn't terribly harsh when grading my pirouettes which I can only imagine were beyond terrible. She advised me to go to the doctor and request an MRI.
So that Friday night i had a wedding reception to attend but thought I'd stop by the doctors just before to check that everything was ok. He couldn't find anything wrong with me but advised us to go to the ER to get an MRI. So we did. We waited and waited and after a few hours the doctor came back with the results.
"It appears that you have had a stroke."
I'm sorry what?
He explained that they wanted to admit me right away so they could find out why on earth a 22 year old would have a stroke. So for the next two days I got no sleep and had ultrasounds, blood drawn, scans and all sorts done to try to find what caused this stroke.
They found a hole in my heart in one of the scans which has been known to cause strokes occasionally (if you're very unlucky). They assured me that they don't think it will happen again because I am otherwise very healthy and that the hole in my heart should be fine as it is. Apparently 20-30% of people have this hole because when we're born we are born with a hole and a flap and then the flap seals itself when we're still a baby. But for 20-30% of us, that doesn't happen. And so we go through life, some never knowing that they have this and never having any problems, others (like me) find out they have a hole after showing symptoms.
This is an animation of how a blood clot from the right side of the heart slipped through the hole before it got sent around the body where it gets de-clotted.

 
Pretty scary really.
So anyway, I recovered fine, had follow up appointments with my cardiologist and neurologist who were both very happy to see that I was doing well and assured me that I was very lucky. The months between April and August I had frequent dizzy spells which was expected for a while after having a stroke.
In September I went to see my doctor for a check up and she wanted to know the whole story but wondered why they weren't going to close the hole in my heart. I said i would ask again and so I did and ended up getting a second opinion from another cardiologist who said he would like to close it. They do not advise it for everyone but i'm young so they say the benefits far outweigh the risks.
And so I went into surgery yesterday for the coolest surgery ever! Once they got inside my heart they found that the hole was considerably larger than they expected. I have been living with a 10mm hole in my heart! And so with the surgery below they patched it up and I am all better and ready to forget the whole thing ever happened :)

I am so so so lucky, it could have been a lot worse. But at the same time I have to be grateful for the stroke because there would have been no way to know about the hole in my heart otherwise.
I am grateful for the incredible surgeons and technology that we have today and excited to put this behind me and look forward to the future! thanks for caring!

Is it only September?!

I just finished my second week as a working woman. Because I'm insane, I thought I could handle two jobs that add up to about 45/50 hours a week. I don't think i realised quite how intense these jobs were going to be. Alas, they are great. I work at a preschool teaching music half of the time and then as a front desk receptionist at an incredibly successful dance studio in Orem. I am so proud to work at both the preschool and the studio. I work with amazing people who teach me so much everyday. If it wasn't for all of those good things then maybe i would be thinking about quitting because I come home EXHAUSTED! i have already brought one cold home from the preschoolers. It has been a week of awfulness for both of us. So now one of the songs in my class involves washing our hands. Hopefully that will keep some germs at home with parents :) Working with preschoolers has made me realise just how much i have taken teachers for granted. goodness me they should get paid millions for the amount of hours, effort and work they put in! My body is literally dead, every aspect of my brain had turned to goop and my voice is gone all within the first 3 hours. That being said, it is also really rewarding and absolutely hilarious at times. Today we celebrated the colour red. Here are a couple of pics I took for Red Day. We sang about all the red clothes I brought in for them to wear and then said "RED!" when we took the picture.

But thinking of ideas to entertain 6-12 three/four year olds is much easier said than done. Songs are great and I have plenty to work with but as far as activities go its like herding sheep. Sure, you can do finger painting with one 3 year old but try doing that with 12! Not going to happen. especially if you want them to go home with clean clothes. anyway. if you have any ideas for crafts, recipes, science experiments or games feel free to shoot them my way.

Visiting the Motherland

I had the most amazing 3 and a half weeks at home with my family. I lived with my sister and took days out with the rest of my family PLUS a trip down to London to the Olympics to finish it all off.
I thought that making a video would be the easiest way I could share some of the memories I have of my amazing summer.
Sorry to all those I didn't get to see.. there just is never enough time. Next time!

A vegetarian turned meat-eater turned vegetarian

We rarely eat meat, if we do we eat chicken. Yes you could say this is very healthy of us and bravo! Except.. I never even ate chicken growing up. I really don't like meat and, as far as I can remember, I have never had a hamburger. I've never craved one. I just don't like the texture of meat at all. Sure sure the animals- its horrific- but honestly that is not my reasoning behind living pretty much a vegetarian life for 18 years. All the while putting up with four older brothers and their teasing and peer pressure to eat meat. I know, its a hard life. 
Once I came to America I talked myself into eating chicken. I knew that I basically wouldn't survive if i didn't. (They don't sell Quorn any where but the sunflower market and it costs about the equivalent of half a kidney per bag)


So, being the wife, I get to choose what we eat because most of the time i'm the one cooking. It started out with us having no chicken, then Derek started to cook more so that we COULD have chicken and cut it into very small pieces so I wouldn't freak out, then I would cook but make him cut the meat and then now I'm pretty much ok with cutting it myself. Its been slow but I've got better. 
Derek, on the other hand, loves meat. All of it. And it really is a treat when we go out for dinner because he actually gets to eat a steak, something i will probably never cook at home.


We both agree that this is annoying but good for us (both health wise and money wise) and we have turned into some right old foodies. We love our couscous, quinoa, smoked cheeses and kale. 


We try lots of new recipes, especially vegetarian ones. I have yet to find a better one than the recipe below. It's delicious. Not only is it meat free and filling but it also rivals the bean burgers that cost $6 for four in the frozen aisle. 
Its easy, cheap and rather forgiving. Feel free to try whatever substitutions or toppings you feel like and let me know how they turn out.


Quinoa Black Bean Burgers


Ingredients:


1 (15 ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup quinoa
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup bread crumbs
1/4 cup minced yellow bell pepper
2 tablespoons minced onion
1 large clove garlic, minced
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon hot sauce
1 egg
3 tablespoons olive oil

Bring the quinoa and water to a boil in a saucepan. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until the quinoa is tender and the water has been absorbed, about 15 to 20 minutes.

Roughly mash the black beans with a fork leaving some whole black beans in a paste-like mixture.

Mix the quinoa, bread crumbs, bell pepper, onion, garlic, cumin, salt, hot pepper sauce, and egg into the black beans using your hands.

• Form the black bean mixture into 5 patties.
• Heat the olive oil in a large skillet.

• Brown both sides and top with cheese, letting it melt as the second side cooks (optional).

• Serve in pita bread or bun. Top with spinach, avocado, onion chips, hot sauce..etc.

 Enjoy!

What would you like me to say?

Having a blog means you can rant about whatever you want. I will exercise my right to rant right now.

As we were leaving church the other day a couple stopped us who I don't remember speaking to before and shook Derek's hand. He had just given a talk and they wanted to know how we met. They said "now you're from England right?" to which i replied "yes" and then they said the phrase I have heard so many times "Where's your accent?"

What am I supposed to say to that? "oh here it is." I honestly believe there isn't a more awkward way to put someone on the spot than to essentially challenge them to show their accent. "Talk a bit", "Well you don't sound like you're from England". "Oh you've been here a long time, you've lost your accent."

How does it not cross people's minds that that is just plain rude. I have had enough of the smiling and brushing it off and saying "oh, well i have been here a while but I'm not from London which is the accent people are used to, I'm from the north of England..."

Thats when they cut me off and say "Oh there it is!" Well done, you 'found' my accent. Or maybe if you had just let me speak before deciding that I don't have one then I wouldn't dislike you right now.

Strong words, I know. And anyone reading this that met me this exact way (probably about 80% of you) I do not remember (maybe i choose not to or something) and have definitely forgiven you. 

Yes, I have lived in America for almost four years. I don't expect to live here and not have things rub off on me. However, most of the changes in my accent are actually because I failed to be understood the first few days i was here. I came thinking "i'm going to teach everyone my way of speaking and they will all speak that way and use my slang and I won't have to change a thing!" Then I soon realized that that was almost impossible. Not only that but it was humiliating when I cracked a joke or made a comment that no one responded to. They didn't understand the reference or the slang or the phrase I used. And we thought we spoke the same language!

So over the years I have settled into the way i speak, i think it would be safe to say that my accent gets stronger the more i know someone. Someone pointed out to me that I tend to hide it when I first meet people. I do this completely subconsciously. I thought about it and realized that in the split second before i speak i sift through all the words in my mind and pick out the ones that show my accent the least. You might ask "why would you want to hide it?" Basically its just more convenient. If I'm walking through the line at Walmart, the cashier does not need to know where I am from. Not only will it take up time and hold up the line but I will also probably never see them again and there's no need to draw attention. So i say very little and choose words that don't give me away. 

My husband is completely oblivious of all of this, which I am very grateful for. It would be very annoying if I had a running commentary on the way my accent was changing around different people. He's very nice in supporting me and has never made fun of it or actually cared. He sticks up for me and explains when people accuse me of not having an accent anymore. 

When we go out to eat we always ask for water. I NEVER say it. Water is one word that screams british. When i have said it the look on the waiters face is as if i just asked for a glass of soy sauce. I see the cogs turning and the channels changing in his brain and then he asks "sorry what did you say?" 

So as not to waste everyones time, Derek orders "water please" and I just say "i'll have the same". So much simpler. He never knew I waited for him to order first until a few months ago. Other than that one, I don't plan the changes.

And then I get it from the opposite side when I go home. Thank goodness my family are so understanding, they never do the annoying "you sound so american!" that I always did when someone came back from time in the states. I'm a hypocrite. And I'm not going to deny that I sound different, its not like I get angry if anyone brings it up. But it wouldn't hurt to show a little bit of understanding and less making me feel like I no longer belong ANYWHERE.

I am very grateful for my country and my accent. Many people know that there are literally hundreds of accents in England alone. Britain is not made up of just the royal family, cockney, scottish and Irish. The part of the country that I am from has a typical northern accent but its sort of in the middle of a few different cities so it doesn't really have a name and sounds different even amongst the people living in my small town. 

Americans have told me that people from England are seen as more intelligent or upper class in some way. That is hilarious to us. I feel common common common. But there are always opportunities to milk it for all its worth. I find it really awkward but whatever works i suppose.

I was recently cast in a Shakespeare with tons of different dialects. I was hoping for one but I was asked to use my own. I grew to love it and really enjoyed being me for a change rather than faking an american accent or something different. I frequently got asked about my dialect by members of the audience. They would say "how long did it take you to get the dialect down?" or "yours is probably the best". My favorite was when one of the cast members came to me to tell me that his brother thought I had the best dialect. He asked him where he thought I was from and he said "Norway! She was really good!"

So in conclusion, my 18 years in England and 4 years here have resulted in me sounded Norwegian. ...Interesting. But I'm ok with it. 

Some kind of title that suggests this is a post about homosexuality and the church

I am a coward when it comes to voicing my opinions. I really don't want to be the source of a debate and don't like giving people a reason to disagree with me or not like me. Maybe I'm insecure or maybe you all secretly agree, who knows... I probably could have picked about 3000 less controversial subjects to talk about, especially with this being my first post of this kind. But whatever, I’m going to be brave.

As a Mormon and a performer I have friends and family that have thoughts and opinions at literally every point on the spectrum. And its not like Mormons say no and others say yes, it’s just not that simple. Even amongst Mormons the spectrum is just as wide. 

Elder Jeffrey R Holland (an apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) stated:

The Church opposes homosexual behavior, and we reach out with understanding and respect to people with same-gender attraction.

The Church teaches that human sexuality has a purpose in Heavenly Father’s plan. In order for us to be happy and to fulfill that purpose, we are commanded to live the law of chastity. Homosexual behavior is contrary to that purpose and violates God’s commandments.

However, if someone is attracted to people of the same gender and does not act on those feelings, he or she has not sinned. The Church’s standard for morality is the same for everyone, no matter which gender one feels attracted to. Neither the Lord nor His Church can condone any behavior that violates His laws. Again, we condemn the immoral behavior, not the person.

"Helping Those Who Struggle with Same-Gender Attraction,” Liahona, Oct. 2007, 40; Ensign,Oct. 2007, 42.

The stance of the Church seems pretty straightforward. However, I never understood the way so many of us acted in light of this belief. The Bible, Book of Mormon or any of the latter-day prophets have never said to treat these people any differently. We all know that Jesus taught to love one another and if he were here, what would he do? I believe that he would love and befriend everyone.

In the same talk Jeffrey R. Holland says, 

If you know people who have a same-gender attraction, follow the same principles you do in your other friendships: “Choose your friends carefully. They will greatly influence how you think and act, and even help determine the person you will become. Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards. A true friend will encourage you to be your best self. … Treat everyone with kindness and respect” (For the Strength of Youth [booklet, 2001], 12).

I am extremely proud of the efforts some members of the Church have taken to fix the gap between the gay/lesbian community and ours. Bullying is NEVER ok. No matter what the situation or circumstance. It is a huge deal and something i think a lot of parents and students choose to ignore. As i didn't grow up in America I can't compare schools here to schools back home. All I know is that bullying definitely existed in my schools. We (and i say we because i know that i was just as much to blame as any other) are mean as young people. School is hard and unless society and education gives us enough of a positive atmosphere, kids and teens can be nothing less than vile. 

I say this as if we suddenly learn not to do this when we are adults. We all know thats not true either. I don't believe that there is any excuse for adults. We as adults should be the example to the next generation of how to treat one another regardless of race, religion or sexual orientation. Now i'm not being naive, we can't get along with everyone. Some people just don't like us or don't hold the same values as us. No one is forcing you to be around them all the time. you choose who you spend your time with. 

I am in no way perfect but i am grateful for the variety of people i have come across in my life. I have friends from many different backgrounds, of different races, religions and sexual orientation that encouraged me to "be my best self". Our differences don't matter and never will, our friendship is based on the many hundreds of things we share, not the few things we don't.

Having said all of this, I continually struggle with this issue. Maybe if my friends belonged to only one school of thought, community or even continent, I would have a very clear opinion formed in my mind. It is because of them that I am continually reminded to keep an open mind.  I would like to form my own opinion and have been hoping I would so that I can write something thoughtful and poignant. I realize that if and when I do come to a conclusion it will be MY opinion and mine alone, made in my own mind and nobody else's. 

This is what i know:

1. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives me all the tools I need to live the best life I can. I believe that we are given our agency to choose right from wrong and if we follow the path that has been laid for us we will live eternally will our family, loved ones and God.

2. Jesus taught us to love everyone, to not judge and to reach out to others. 

3. Intelligence and curiosity is a gift given to us. Keeping an open mind at all times is the way to form our own opinions and not be swayed by others. We can choose to educate ourselves on whatever we want. (My husband and I were talking about our blogs. We both felt that we can only write about things we feel we know a lot about. Annoyingly, not everyone feels this way so we are constantly reading articles, news posts and blogs written by someone who has absolutely no idea what they are talking about.)

4. I don't know the answers. No matter how much I study this subject, no matter who I talk to, I always come to the same conclusion.. I don't know. I look forward to understanding the subject more, maybe it won't be in this life but I know that one day I will understand better. I know this because I have faith in Jesus Christ. I know he loves each one of us. He has equal love for all of us and is reaching out to each one of us, those in the Church need just as much help as those out.  

I don't love my gay friends any less than my other friends. I fully support them in their lives and careers and really want them to find happiness. I guess it just comes down to respect. You respect me and accept that i don't really know all the answers but I choose to follow the teachings of the Church, and i respect you for your choices too. 

What do they take us for?

I consider myself pretty level headed when it comes to the effects of advertising. However, I have been told that, when the ad or commercial is right, I can fall for almost anything. Maybe if i actually had money i would be one of those people who buys everything from the slap chop to the snuggie. (i do have a snuggie but that was a bit of an international trend for a while.)
Being alone for a big part of the day, I keep the TV on pretty much all the time, even if i'm not watching it. I can now hum or sing along to most jingles, even the local ones, and know most commercials/adverts far too well.
I would like to share some of my less favorite ones. Not only do they make me cringe, they make me angry, making me cry "WHAT DO YOU TAKE US FOR?!" Because at some point they cross the line of silly and jump right into straight up offensive. 'Your marketing team came up with this?! how much money did you spend on this piece of utter rubbish?' And as an actor I find it somewhat annoying that so many of the people in some of these commercials are just absolutely atrocious. I'm talking Harry Potter film #1 level of atrocity.
So without fuming any further...




I don't even know where to begin... So many things to hate- the jingle, the dancers, the location... The first time I saw it i laughed, a lot. Thinking it was ridiculous. The 70th time I just left the room. the saddest thing is that its still playing so it must be working... ugh!

Compare it with this hilarious Geico commercial. We all know that Geico can make a good commercial if they want. Not sure why the choose to fail every now and again though... The gecko one are never my favorite. Here is the extended version of Ronald's "total eclipse of the heart".





Now this one may just be me but I personally despise the voice this commercial. The idea and the videography are not bad but the one liners and the voice they chose? come on! could it be any more annoying? maybe its just me..






The next one is less about the commercial and more about the product. I kind of think this one is the new Snuggie. What on earth?






And lastly... some classics from the UK.











There are some horrendous ones that I failed to mention (nuvaring comes to mind but is just too shocking to talk about). And there are some fantastic ones this year. All in all, are the commercials becoming more interesting than the actual tv shows? hmm..